I didn’t miss you at all. I knew you were there right from the start. I will live on with you in my life that I have accepted. I embrace the next thing you bring to me. Why? Because I know I am alive!
I only shock my hands after wetting them. Shake shake you know? You probably do it all the time and don’t think about it. Till it turns up!
Like it did me. Shake shake. There you were! Sharp, throbbing, kinda spiteful! But comfortable like you’d always been there but just wanting to let me know that you are there!
Waiting to turn up and out stay your welcome. I feed you up I try to help by taking meds! I try to meditate you away more recently! You just plonk your self in when ever how ever you like! To who ever you want to! I know you! But this time you were different!
This is something different I’ve not had this before and you are still here? Get out!? OMG
I moved around the bathroom like I was trying to stop something happening. Almost a panic attack? Are you fucking kidding me?
Wiping hands on towel.
I start to calm now. It’s gone. What the fuck was that? Looks down! Bang 💥 its back! Bit bigger. Covering a bigger area! Shit! Shit shit shitttttt. I hold my hands to my chest and run into my bedroom. Throb throb throb pinch pinch stab sqeeeze. You sadistic twat ( was going to go with the c word!)
I know you like hurting me. You are a sadist! I can hear my own insides laughing at me! Growing older will encur some pentlies! I know that! I get it but what was that? And it’s still here. Hoovering like a shadow in the back ground as I type a blog about pain.